Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize