Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
