Three words: puerto rican gang bang
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I am available for nakedness
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
