He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
