Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
