i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
nutella sex= disaster
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
