I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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