My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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