i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
