And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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