a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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