you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
