real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
