K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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