I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
