Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize