Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
