u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
