So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
