i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
