i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
