i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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