K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
