im holly from the hills drunk
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
