no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
