Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
