I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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