so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
