a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
