Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
