nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
