I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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