Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sext me about skeletons
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
