My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Randomize
