could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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