in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize