But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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