actually, I'm a sock model
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Me. At least after what I've been through.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
