I'm lost and stupid without you.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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