can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i think my cat just said my name.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
