That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
