so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
