And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
