Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
