Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
