This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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