just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
