From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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