wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize