Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
