okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Is it because I queefed?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
