The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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