we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
