Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i think i have two assholes
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
