Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
