Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
