i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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