People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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