After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
