I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
