you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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