either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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