Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
